Dear Mary: Stealing From My Mother

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Dear Mary: Stealing From My MotherDear Mary,

There seems to be odd things missing from my mother’s dresser in her bedroom – she lives in our hosue with us. Lately some of her jewellery and money have gone missing. I expect my cleaning lady is stealing from her.



Dear Jan:

Your cleaning lady may be stealing from her (does she steal from you?) but perhaps your Mother may also be moving things around and even forgetting where she puts them.

Put a couple of secret cameras in her room and elsewhere in your home. Cameras can be very small and hidden in virtually anything these days.

It will not take very long to determine why things are going missing. If it is your Mother who is misplacing things, than that is important and you should talk with her doctor about this. If your cleaning lady is taking things, then that is an issue that you must also deal with.

Be smart, be pro-active and be sure. Don’t waste your time wondering. Just learn the truth!


Message from Mary Bart: I was my parents’ principal caregiver for ten years. I have first-hand experience in helping aging parents, dealing with family dynamics, protecting parents from elder abuse and working with public and private organizations. Do you have a question for me? Please email your questions to:

An important note: I love answering your questions, but I also encourage you to seek professional legal, financial, or medical assistance. Mary.


| Caregiving Expert

Mary Bart is the Chair of Caregiving Matters, a registered charity that offers education and support to family caregivers. She was her parents’ principal caregiver for ten years and first-hand experience in helping aging parents, dealing wit...